Cheers to Transformation
The Almost Weekly Tom
Whenever someone in Ubud tells you they had a transformative week they mean that they just have sailed a storm. I had two transformative weeks which I already hinted in my last update I guess. What has shifted for me is the perspective. In my old me sailing a storm meant real danger and I only felt rain hitting my face and my butt becoming a piece of ice.
Now I am in a state where I still experience the storm but from a detached perspective and without the fear of drowning. And what I have lost in fear I have gained in curiosity. Where will this storm take me? How will the ship look after it? This is so exciting!!!
Just yesterday after the full moon the storm cleared and it is quite interesting how I am increasingly aligning with the moon cycle. This powerful new moon plus eclipse energy almost made me sick because it triggered such a strong transformation of my physical body. I have never released such amounts of energies deeply ingrained in my DNA for ages in such a short time. And right the next day, I experienced levels of pleasure, unlike everything I had experienced before. Not while having sex or anything like it - I was just lying on my couch without moving. Last week during a sensual workshop, I also had orgasm after orgasm just by sitting in meditation - I don’t know exactly what is happening but I like it. 😂🤩🤯
Yet the biggest news is even more beyond the grasp of words than orgasm in complete stillness but I will still try to express what major inner progress I’ve made. I had this abandoned little child in me that took over in two kinds of situations. Either when a situation was very stressful or if I thought I had found someone who could replace my mother. It sabotaged my ability the enter relationships healthily and it made me collapse in certain situations. For example, a couple of months ago I wanted to board a plane but they didn’t let me because I had an infection in my eye. Travels are always stressful for me and for some reason that incident made the little boy appear and ultimately I was crying in some corner at the airport. I still managed the situation but it was quite unsettling.
The abandoned little boy didn’t show up often but when he did it was major and disastrous. He also showed up in my latest connection and for the first time I was able to catch it and integrate him. Right after this pattern showed up in a relationship environment I was also delivered a little daily life crisis and I was able to catch it again. The future will show if the integration is sustainable but it very much looks like it which is such a major step for me!
So my latest transformation has been about healing old wounds and patterns but it is also a huge shift on a physical level. Additionally, life itself is taking a new shape. In about two weeks I will go to Bangkok to activate my KITAS. For all those unfamiliar with the expat situation in Bali, it means that I will be able to stay for two years and I can work legally as I please but I have to leave and reenter Indonesia to use it. In Bangkok, I will visit the Dragonfly Summit - I have been drawn to attend for such a long time and just lately I finally bought the tickets.
After coming back everything is already lined up perfectly - although as we all already know life never complies with plans. But it looks like I will have my space to channel publicly in Dragonfly Village (seems like the dragonfly is pointing my way) and a beautiful opportunity to DJ basically just dropped in my lap as well. My Italian friend Lui built himself a villa with a sound dome and a next-level sound system. All the speakers are at heart-level and perfectly aligned and if you stand in the middle of this huge octagon the music touches your soul like a precise laser - it is really something else. He and his wife trust me with bringing this space to life and I am deeply grateful for this opportunity.
Other things also came up but it is a little early to talk about them since it is still Ubud and not everything will go down as planned. But the overall energy feels so welcoming and encouraging which makes me so excited about the coming weeks. Oh, and my photo shoot was beautiful - here are some pictures!
I feel like I am having a bad writing day so this text will definitely win no Pulitzer 🙈 but I want to share and keep in touch. I hope you’re all doing great! Much love! 🫂🫂🫂
a new set I’ve recorded if you feel like dancing - and even if you don’t feel like dancing that’s probably the best time to do it :)
and as always the new entry to the Library of Wisdom perfectly matches the theme of the last weeks - or maybe the other way around, it set it in motion:
