A Life Doesn't Appear - It Grows
The Almost Weekly Tom
In meditation exists the sensation of non-being. This state appears when you are completely at rest. Sometimes it stays with me for a while but usually, I get so excited about it, and the thought “I don’t want to lose this” crosses my mind which is usually exactly when I start to exist again.
This “problem” comes up in my meditation but has recently appeared in my daily life, too. A couple of weeks ago I was completely at rest. I am not talking about the relaxation after a long spa day - my being was completely humming to a deep inner rhythm down to a cellular level. I was breathing relaxed and naturally all day and transitioned from one activity to the next without planning much. It was delicious how the flow of my life energy carried me into a creative frenzy. I started making music, I had 2-3 major transmissions a week, and the website grew.
Then came the moment I became aware of it and just like in the meditation it was the moment when I lost it. My mind started hijacking that beautiful energy and wanted to use it on its terms. It became a game I used to play in the past. How can I get more attention and more recognition? How do I get more clicks? That’s when I came up with the plan to post The Weekly Tom every Sunday morning, for example.
And guess what? Immediately, my channel dried up. Not completely, it still has beautiful personal guidance but the transmission that was flowing through me and that is intended to be seen and heard by the world became a thin rivulet instead of a raging river.
I understand now that just like in meditation you need to be at rest to ride along your dharma. True rest can only occur if the majority of tension has left your emotional, mental, and physical body which requires a lot of work for most of us - years sometimes. Before, you might experience periods of relaxation but never true rest which is needed to let your life flow in its own life energy.
here are so more insights about the nature of rest and how to achieve it:
Even if that is achieved, we still carry old patterns and are surrounded by a 3D reality that pushes us in a certain direction. Most notably to be productive, to achieve something, to be a worthy member of society. Even if you have found your purpose path we still live in a world where we need to make an effort to stay on the path. So easily are we pushed into old conditioning instead of staying in trust with the whole.
I am just so impatient! 🙈🙈🙈 I already see the size of my oak tree. I can feel my dharma and everything feels like it is happening so slowly… Why am I not already teaching in front of a huge crowd about what I know? Why aren’t there more people seeking advice? The truth is: I wouldn’t be able to hold those imaginations of my future just now although I am very close. Also, I tend to overlook the achievements of my life. I tend to overlook the people who have benefited greatly from my presence already or the beauty I have created so far.
My advice for myself is not only to look into the future with impatience but also into the past with a healthy sense of pride and most importantly to stay in the beauty of the present moment. I also want to trust divine timing more and more. My life has proven to me over and over that it all works out perfectly. Always.
I want to go back to focus and into the flow. I definitely won’t force myself to write about my life every week if I don’t feel it. So The Weekly Tom becomes The Almost Weekly Tom which is a way better name anyway, I find. Pretty smart, huh?😇😅 I will create what wants to appear instead of having a C-section for my dreams.
Right here I took a pause and stopped writing for a couple of days. My initial impulse was to announce the beautiful plans I have to get myself out there and present my gifts. But everything in its divine timing. First things first. I will fly to Bangkok to visit the Dragonfly H.E.A.L. summit tomorrow and once I am back a couple of days later I will have my working visa for Indonesia and will put it to good use - you’ll see. 😇 I’ll keep you posted. Join my new WhatsApp community to stay up to date about events online and in Bali and to receive a recorded transmission once in a while.
Keep growing my friends!
