I also don't remember a lot about my childhood. I used to think I just had bad memory. My mom and my brother would talk about things that happened and I'd be completely shocked because I didn't remember a thing. For example, we went to a restaurant last year near where we used to live and I enjoyed the food so I said, "Wow, this place is great. I wonder why we never tried this place back then." And they proceeded to tell me, "What do you mean? We used to go here all the time." Through therapy and reconnecting with my family, I realised that there are whole chunks of my life that I somehow erased because of trauma. Since I made a commitment to heal myself in the last few years, those memories have slowly been resurfacing. It's a tough ride, but I know this is necessary to finally be able to live peacefully.
Oh Solène my dear, I am so happy you're sharing this! Sharing the first chapters of my book is especially vulnerable for me and people read it way less than my other texts and that was tough on me. So it is especially beautiful for me to hear it has touched you.
But enough about me - it is really brave of you to share this here and and I am very curious to learn more about your story if you're willing to share either here or in a DM. Have you found peace? What came up? What has changed since then in your life? Re-remembering is such a wild process and I don't know anyone else going through that than you so I would be really curious about your experiences. Much love!
With regard to my childhood, I am still in the process of being completely at peace with it. Basically, everything that I had been working toward in my life fell completely apart and I needed to figure out how to never be in the same place again. I realised that a lot of what pushed me there stemmed from unresolved childhood traumas. I ended up coming back to my family for a bit to face everything. This part of my chapter has really tested me. I now see the root of why things happened and why certain people caused my traumas, but of course, I must also balance with the fact that some things are inexcusable regardless. I must unlearn a lot of the toxic traits and negative coping mechanisms I picked up from my childhood space. I must keep fighting to for my voice and self-trust when the environment tries to pull me backwards. I must also assess whether certain people have grown or are willing to grow with me. I have made significant progress and now it's just a matter of upholding the boundaries required in my childhood environment.
As for the memories.. I think this will be something I will continue to experience for years because they pop up on their own and quite unexpectedly to things I wouldn't have guessed were relevant. For example, while I was visiting family, there was a moment when they had gone out for groceries and I heard the garage signalling that they had returned. Suddenly, I got a flash memory of people coming into the front door yelling and fighting, throwing things around. I realised that was a memory from my childhood. But fortunately, we are safe now. And on that day, the family I was with entered from the garage with groceries in hand and laughing about something they were discussing. That was nice.
It is such a wild experience when it happens. Not every day ends up nicely. But I am much more prepared these days to process them in a way that brings me peace.
That was quite a long reply, haha. Yes, feel free to message me with regard to this. I'm happy to elaborate more or even compare notes on our experiences.
Try not to pay too close attention to the numbers. The right people will find your work.
I also don't remember a lot about my childhood. I used to think I just had bad memory. My mom and my brother would talk about things that happened and I'd be completely shocked because I didn't remember a thing. For example, we went to a restaurant last year near where we used to live and I enjoyed the food so I said, "Wow, this place is great. I wonder why we never tried this place back then." And they proceeded to tell me, "What do you mean? We used to go here all the time." Through therapy and reconnecting with my family, I realised that there are whole chunks of my life that I somehow erased because of trauma. Since I made a commitment to heal myself in the last few years, those memories have slowly been resurfacing. It's a tough ride, but I know this is necessary to finally be able to live peacefully.
Oh Solène my dear, I am so happy you're sharing this! Sharing the first chapters of my book is especially vulnerable for me and people read it way less than my other texts and that was tough on me. So it is especially beautiful for me to hear it has touched you.
But enough about me - it is really brave of you to share this here and and I am very curious to learn more about your story if you're willing to share either here or in a DM. Have you found peace? What came up? What has changed since then in your life? Re-remembering is such a wild process and I don't know anyone else going through that than you so I would be really curious about your experiences. Much love!
With regard to my childhood, I am still in the process of being completely at peace with it. Basically, everything that I had been working toward in my life fell completely apart and I needed to figure out how to never be in the same place again. I realised that a lot of what pushed me there stemmed from unresolved childhood traumas. I ended up coming back to my family for a bit to face everything. This part of my chapter has really tested me. I now see the root of why things happened and why certain people caused my traumas, but of course, I must also balance with the fact that some things are inexcusable regardless. I must unlearn a lot of the toxic traits and negative coping mechanisms I picked up from my childhood space. I must keep fighting to for my voice and self-trust when the environment tries to pull me backwards. I must also assess whether certain people have grown or are willing to grow with me. I have made significant progress and now it's just a matter of upholding the boundaries required in my childhood environment.
As for the memories.. I think this will be something I will continue to experience for years because they pop up on their own and quite unexpectedly to things I wouldn't have guessed were relevant. For example, while I was visiting family, there was a moment when they had gone out for groceries and I heard the garage signalling that they had returned. Suddenly, I got a flash memory of people coming into the front door yelling and fighting, throwing things around. I realised that was a memory from my childhood. But fortunately, we are safe now. And on that day, the family I was with entered from the garage with groceries in hand and laughing about something they were discussing. That was nice.
It is such a wild experience when it happens. Not every day ends up nicely. But I am much more prepared these days to process them in a way that brings me peace.
That was quite a long reply, haha. Yes, feel free to message me with regard to this. I'm happy to elaborate more or even compare notes on our experiences.
Try not to pay too close attention to the numbers. The right people will find your work.